Allyship in Practice

Allyship means taking action to support people who experience discrimination or exclusion. It involves recognising where we have influence, opportunities or advantages that others may not, and using them to help make things fairer.

It begins with listening. We can't assume that we understand someone else’s experience, even when we share aspects of their identity. By remaining curious, questioning our assumptions and accepting feedback, we can become more thoughtful and effective allies.

Our role is to work alongside people, respecting their choices and helping their voices reach those who need to hear them. Sometimes that means speaking up. Sometimes it means stepping back so someone else can be heard.

Allyship takes many forms. It might involve challenging a homophobic comment, supporting a trans colleague or helping an LGBTQIA+ candidate feel welcome. It can mean addressing racism, questioning an inaccessible process, challenging stereotypes about neurodivergent people, or responding to sexism, antisemitism or Islamophobia.

These actions matter in our families, friendships, workplaces and communities. We can also look beyond individual interactions to question the policies, decisions and established ways of doing things that repeatedly disadvantage particular groups.

We will not always get it right. We may feel uncomfortable, discover gaps in our understanding or need to reconsider something we have long believed. Being willing to learn, apologise and change is part of the responsibility.

In practice, allyship involves:

• Listening to people’s experiences without dismissing or explaining them away.
• Taking responsibility for our own learning.
• Responding to unfair treatment and exclusion.
• Sharing opportunities, resources and influence.
• Following through, including when there is no recognition or reward.

We don't need to have all the answers before we begin. We do need to care enough to act—and remain open to learning how our actions can be more helpful.

Over time, those choices can strengthen trust, widen opportunities and help create places where more people feel respected, valued and able to be themselves.

Everyday actions for LGBTQ+ inclusive workplaces

You don't need perfect words to be a useful ally. Start by noticing, listening and choosing a response that supports the person affected.

Prepare for a courageous conversation

Before speaking, consider:

• The behaviour: What specifically happened?
• The impact: Why does it need addressing?
• The outcome: What change are you asking for?
• The setting: Would a private conversation help?

Practise your opening. Stay curious, allow pauses and keep your tone calm.

Choose a helpful response

Consider safety, power dynamics and the risk of drawing unwanted attention to someone.

Curiosity can open a conversation. Clear boundaries are appropriate when behaviour is openly hostile or repeated. You can also seek help or follow up afterwards.

Make your request clear

Try this structure:

Describe the behaviour → explain its effect → request a change.

For example:

“When you described being bisexual as ‘just a phase’, I felt concerned because it dismissed an identity. Please avoid describing bisexuality that way.”

End by agreeing what will change and when you will check back.

Support the person affected

Check in privately:

“I noticed what happened. How are you feeling? Would any support be helpful?”

• Listen without minimising the experience or rushing to fix it.
• Ask what the person would find helpful rather than assuming.
• Respect their privacy. Never disclose someone’s identity without permission.
• Avoid promising complete confidentiality if your role may require you to act.
• Where behaviour is serious or repeated, seek appropriate support and explain any next steps.

Someone may want you to listen, help them raise a concern or give them space. They should not have to manage your reaction as well as their own experience.

If you get it wrong

Acknowledge → apologise → correct → learn

“Thank you for correcting me. I’m sorry—I meant ‘they’.”

Keep the apology brief, take responsibility and put the learning into practice. Avoid asking the person affected to reassure you.

If someone tells you that your words caused harm, listen before explaining your intentions.

Ask yourself what you can do differently.

Make allyship an everyday habit

• Use inclusive language without making assumptions about identity or relationships.
• Share credit and challenge bias in access to opportunities.
• Learn independently rather than expecting LGBTQ+ colleagues to explain everything.
• Support inclusion when no LGBTQ+ colleagues are visibly present.
• As a leader, set clear expectations and follow through when concerns are raised.

Your next step

One phrase I will practise: ______________________________

One action I will take: _________________________________

When I will do it: _____________________________________

Continue your learning

Explore further approaches and conversation starters in Courageous Conversations.

David E. Hull-Watters
People & Culture Partner | Inclusion & Wellbeing Specialist
inclusionconsultant.co.uk